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Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American

US China Boxing Gloves

US China Boxing Gloves

Cuts to Britain’s armed forces mean the country will be ‘left on the sidelines’ when America invades China.

Robert Gates, former US defence secretary, stressed that Britain would no longer be America’s ‘full crazy partner in war’.

He said: “Your military will be dropping food from its only helicopter while the US Marines are surging towards Shanghai for reasons that will never be fully explained.

“The war with China will be one of the craziest ever fought. You’re going to miss out on something completely mental.”

But UK defence secretary Philip Hammond insisted the cuts would make the armed forces more efficient at a wide range of utterly stupid and pointless things.

He added: “When America invades China Britain will be there with the helicopter, Tank 1 and Tank 2 and, of course, HMS Ship.

“Britain will not stand idly by while China tries to steal some tiny islands from Japan. Or is it the other way around? Or is it Taiwan?

“Actually, don’t tell me. It’s better when I have absolutely no idea.”

The Daily Mash is one of Britain’s best known news satire sites

Source: The Daily Mash – Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American (SATIRE)


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3 thoughts on “Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American

  1. China could shoot down the entire US Air Force easily.

    China also has the support of the Cubans, and various drug cartels and anti-government organizations in Latin America with which it could attack the US.


    Posted by Andy | January 19, 2014, 4:03 pm
  2. This would be funny if it didn’t have such a ring of truth about it.


    Posted by cmsaunders | January 20, 2014, 12:38 am


  1. Pingback: The two-cow theory: Capitalism in America, China and around the world | China Daily Mail - November 4, 2014

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